You keep pushing yourself so hard and often think you can put yourself together, despite the accident that has happen. The frustrations you are going through, despite the disgrace that has occurred, despite the disappointment that has happen. The misfortune, despite the grief you are going through or you’ve gone through, despite the heart breaks. The infidelity in the marriage, despite the chronic disease that has immensely affected your love one. You keep on holding onto things that has occurred in the past and these things perhaps is suffocating you. So you can’t move on with your life. Your other self thinks that you are ok everything is fine but your real self is telling you that something isn’t right with you. @https://enerriseinspi.com/index.php/2019/09/22/your-temptatiion/. You’ve suddenly gain some fear, the fear of losing your life or any love one because of death, accident , sickness, surgery.
You feel some heaviness on you, you are walking and moving OK in the sight of people but within you. You are not, because of that heaviness you can’t get things going, you still at the same place, still marking time. You’ve attached some luggages to yourselves, so you can’t move, you are stacked by them. You carry them along wherever you go unknowingly. @realTalkKim tweet on her page which I find it very interesting she said “If whatever you are going through will not matter in more than five years don’t spend more than five minutes being upset about it”. Which in my own context of agreement I find it absolutely very true because why should you be upset about a matter that will not be relevant in 1,2,3,4 or more years to come despite how painful it is or despite how regrettable it is.
You carry many luggages of fear, pain, unforgiving, envy, hatred, jealousy due to one or the other thing that have happen in our life, well life in it nature offers what it has whether good or bad it offers it. You might unfortunately see it unclearly as wished but that should not compel you to be mischievous or bitter, yeah your boyfriend or girlfriend damp you. Your husband or wife committed adultery in your marriage for that matter you’ve build some hatred in you. You are asking yourself tons of question why am I not enough for him or her. What did I do wrong for this to happen, what came into his or her mind for her, him to do that. What was he or she thinking, you had a good business deal offer but things turn into different direction and the deal was revoked and everything messed up. Unfortunately you were diagnose of a disease, something you never thought it will never happen to you, it never occurred to you that you are going to face such problem. You are still holding on grief of a love one which has escalated to the extent that it’s eating you up, every now and then you keep asking yourself why must it happen this way, why must it happen to me.
All sort of things are running through your head. You were abused because of that it has draw scars and wounds in your heart, scars that are drawn with indelible ink, wounds that cause deep holes in the heart, that when every good thing drops in it, it just penetrate in the hole and falls down. It holds you to the extent of grounding you deep inside the darkness that you can’t see anymore. https://enerriseinspi.com/index.php/2019/09/08/my-pain-my-gain/.
It doesn’t matter how many times it enters, it falls because of the big hole that is created. Even people around you will try to console you or will want to make you happy but no matter how much they try, it will not get to you or even be notice by yourself because of the barrier you’ve created for yourself. So you rather push them away and by doing that you enlarge the hole you’ve created in your heart, the more the hole becomes bigger the more you feel distance away by your loves ones. You begin to multiply your scars by your actions, attitude towards situations at hand.
It grows to the level of deformation, so you will see an astute man or lady, a good looking man, beautiful lady. A medical doctor by profession, an engineer, a lawyer, a teacher, a make-up artist, a fashion designer, a school principal. A minister, an actor, a football player or even an entrepreneur walking down the street, in a car, in our church, in our communities fully dressed normal but their heart are deformed by what life throws at them. The consequences of what the element of life has caused them or put them through. Yes the element of life that is money, the car, love, happiness, marriage, a job, the house, the sickness, the trauma, the tragedies, pain, fear, unforgiving.
These element came up together to form what I call “life puzzle”. They form part of life, that’s why in our daily lives we see them, as you are a human on this earth. These kinds of element will be running through your life that should automatically tell you that in other to grow in life in all aspect you should put your groove on. Archbishop Benson Idahosa said “Christianity does not make life easy, rather it provides the strength needed to face and overcome the trials of life. Christianity does not remove the red lights ,stumps, setbacks and tragedies of life but we have a good reason to believe that our walk with God in Christ gives us vital armor and a tough skin as protection when the zero hour sneak in”. Learn to adapt by letting go of things that holds you. The sudden jealousy that you’ve build inside you because of one reason or the other, let it go. The pain, anger, bitterness, unforgiving heart that you’ve cultured in you, let it go. By letting them go will not stop you from achieving your goals, will not stop you from being happy.
Don’t let the past rob you of what’s to come. There’s a beautiful story with your name on it, stop letting the enemy take you back to what hurt you. It’s time to move on, let God write the story you’ve always desired, receive a whole newness in your being. Your own self that makes you overcome the anger, fear, pain you were exhibiting or going through. The newness gives you a good and different heart, the heart to re-love again despite the grief, despite the tragedies, a heart that can clear an unforgiving waste that boils up back and forth. A heart that can still hold on despite the disappointment. That newness of heart can only be received in Christ, by certain your life straight with God.
God has bless you with enormous talent but you don’t see or can’t identify them because uour heart is severely wounded which sometimes indirectly makes you think God is not with you. I mean if he was, these things that you are going through will not happen BUT if you are willing to let go of everything that is stacked inside you, around you. You ultimately will see a newness inside out. Allow God to take all of your broken pieces and make a beautiful mosaic art out of them.